Contact and feedback

I had written this for an email group and came across it in my sent mail folder.

I don't think you are alone in these feelings at all. So much of what and who we are as submissives is tied to the feedback we receive from our Dominants. When we don't receive that feedback, we get uncomfortable.

I know I often feel as though I've done something wrong when I don't hear from my Dominant when he says he'll call or email. The doubts come and I lose faith in myself and my ability to be what he needs me to be (not that what he wants is any different from what I normally am, it's just that I get insecure).

So often all I need is for him to say "Everything is okay." and it really is.

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I hope no one felt as though I was excluding Dominants from having needs that should be fulfilled as a part of a relationship, that was certainly not my intention :).

I think perhaps, however, that submissives are often left feeling as though they do not have the "right" (and I know I'll regret using that word lol) to request attention when they are feeling a need for it. I can really only speak for myself in this matter, but as Cahn pointed out, life often intrudes. Who am I to say that my need for reassurance is more important than anything else in my Dominant's life? That is how I usually feel about stepping up and insisting on attention or contact...that I am expecting him to set aside whatever has kept him from me in order to meet that need for me...I don't think I have that right.

That's not to say I sit and wait for contact. It also doesn't mean that I don't feel hurt and lost when things step between us that are beyond the control of both of us. It is to say that priorities are set at the beginning of a relationship and while He is second on my list (after my husband), I know there are other priorities in his life that I must, of necessity, come after. Because I know this, asking for reassurance or contact is extremely hard for me.

Just the ramblings of a submissive who has actually spent a lot of time working with this issue.
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I still feel this way. Contact with JD is so important to me. More important that I think he knows. It's almost as though I go through withdrawl when i don't hear from him. If I do hear from him...I'm good for at least a couple of days. After that time, though, I need to hear from him again or I start to get antsy and the anxiety levels crank up again.

I hope to hear from him this week and really hope we'll have time to get together :).