Friday, December 23, 2005


What are the F-ing Odds?

Okay, so I had a friend for 16 years (we went to high school and college together...he called my mother "Mom", we lived across the hall from each other in college and ended up only one state apart after school).

Two years ago, he handed his balls over to the harpie he married, left a message on my cell phone that I was never to call him again. I haven't seen or heard from him again.

Until today...

I'm sitting in my car, driving home after being at the mall and look over to my left. There's a white jeep and the man in it looks suspiciously like this former friend, so I do the natural thing, I stare...It was HIM. I waved, he waved. He pulled away and I sobbed in my car the whole way home.

Why is it that the men in my life have always found the best ways to hurt me? I mean, 16 years of friendship (NEVER dated, NEVER any sex, JUST friends) and he gives it up for a woman he admits to hating and does it in the way that hurts the most...he left a mutherfucking message on my voicemail.

Despite traveling to the town where he works (it's a beach town, always been one of my favorites, I refuse to avoid it), I haven't seen him in nearly two years. Now, I'm in fucking PA, in our fucking hometown where NEITHER of us live anymore and I see him. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I HATE the holidays. I think I'm just going to boycott them from now on.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK