More from Wednesday

I think there is a space limit for posts, so I started a new one to avoid problems :).

We spent a couple of hours talking, touching, kissing, etc. (I know...it's the etc. that's interesting, but the details are still fuzzy for me right now.) We listened to music, talked about the music we listened to as teenagers. We talked about the pictures I had posted for him to see of me from high school. See, he's shown me his high school picture. I told him as a teenager, he was the kind of guy I dated. As an adult, he is the kind of guy I dreamed of dating in high school. I showed him the pictures so he could see the boys I spent time with. He complimented me by saying the High School me was the kind of girl he'd have "given his left nut" to date :). Looking at those pictures made me think very seriously about losing weight again. When I was that age, I didn't think I was beautiful, but looking at them now, I see that I really was.

Anyway, the afternoon passed in a mostly blissful haze of quiet together time with the occassional phone call or pinched nipple :). I did clean out the toybag, but not until he informed me that I would do so while wearing nipple clamps. My poor nipples are still a little tender. I didn't want to do a shoddy job and my husband called in the middle of the cleaning, so they were on there for a half hour, forty-five minutes. And clover clamps with a snap ring holding them down are viscious after that much time. :). Sir let me hold onto him (rather tight and by my nails at the end) as he took them off.....he can make the taking off take forever.

When I got home, R and I had another talk about his fears that JD will hurt me again. I can't explain to him, or make him understand that something HAS changed in JD. He has been doing everything within his power to be certain the things that hurt me are not happening again. He's going so far as to be utterly black and white about things (a trait R has that infuriates me), but it shows that whether his intent was to hurt me in the first place, he is recognizing that the behaviors he engaged in were hurtful to me.

R asked me to throw a tarot spread on the situation to try to help him see what I'm seeing. He wanted me to interpret the cards, then he would do the same and we would both see the same situation. I thought it was a fairly good idea. My cards are about the only "accurate" divination method I have. My pendulum seems always to tell me only what I want to hear as opposed to the truth. Anyway, I lay out the spread.

It showed a lot of things, but overall it showed an end to strife and a coming together of emotion, intellect, and passions. Ultimately it looks as though I am on the right path...that I am right to begin to trust in JD again. R saw it too and admitted that while he interpreted one card a little differently than I might, he would trust my opinion.

It is so hard to have my husband angry with JD for hurting me. It's hard because I can't fix it. I can't make R see that JD does care for me, is concerned with my well being and is changing the behaviors that brought us to the place we were in two weeks ago. The tarot spread seems to have helped this a bit.

Anyway, I need to check my bruises...I can feel a couple on my neck, but I don't see any on my breasts or shoulders. Did I mention that Sir likes to bite? God I love to hear him growl as he bites me :).