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1. Use of my house as a hook-up location because your other partner's house had children or a husband in it and your wife didn't know about any of it.
2. Belief in a known liar over me because it was expedient. I wouldn't continue to approach the issue, the liar wouldn't let it go if confrontation continued.
3. Use of my bed for sex exclusively with anyone else but me while I am in the house and in the room.
4. Springing the idea of the birth of a child on me less than two weeks before the child is born.
5. Making me make excuses to my parents about why you could not be at my home on Christmas morning when you promised you would. All because you were with your pregnant wife and didn't want me to know.
6. Forcing me to accept the inclusion of others in our relationship without honest discussion or even honesty regarding how you met them, how long you'd known them, how long you'd been having unprotected sex with them, etc., etc., etc.
7. Answering "I love you," with "Yeah."
8. Asking me to pay for something that was your fault, promising to pay me back and reneging on that promise immediately after the bill was paid.
9. Making me lie to your wife and child because when I bought a gift for your child, you told your family you bought it.
10. Asking me to ignore physical issues in order to let you give away my skills and services to others without any recompense for the raw materials used or consideration for the very real physical limitations ignored.
A power exchange relationship does not mean that the servant must forego needs and desires for the entire length of the relationship. It does not mean that the owner can lie without consequence. It does not mean that the servant must forget all humanity and be the perfectly obedient doormat so the owner doesn't feel guilt over what they know is unhealthy behavior.
Power exchange relationships must be balanced. If I had done any of the things listed above, whether for his own good or my own, I would have been dismissed from service immediately. The owner should have no less responsibility in the relationship than the servant. There must be a level of equality between the servant and the served or the relationship is doomed from the start. It's called power EXCHANGE. That means there has to be both give and take on all sides.
I deserve better. I will never settle for a liar again. There have been too many in my life already and at my age, I don't have the patience. The "it's ok girl" has finally breathed her last. I buried her after the last unequal power exchange relationship and because I will not let her rise from the grave, I must speak up. Those who are offended by this, consider why you feel that way. Is it perhaps guilt because you have done these things? Or maybe you know you meant to do them but someone called you on them.
Is it not easier to be honest? Those who know me well know that confrontation is not my thing. Telling me the truth may result in my withdrawal until I am ready to deal with any pain or sorrow, but never will it result in a public scene. Why, then, is it those who should have known me best who feel the need to lie to me?
