Preparing for Separation

It is a sad truth that many of us who serve are in service to those who serve our country. Deployments and training exercises separate us from those we serve and can leave us feeling disconnected and lost. How, then, can a servant prepare for a separation? The first step I take in preparing for a separation is to talk to the owner. We discuss those things which I can do as service to him while he is far away. Remaining connected to those we serve in spite of distance between us can make separations much easier on both parties. Make a list of tasks to be completed for those you serve while they are absent. Commit to performing those tasks without fail or excuses. Do not allow the distance between you and those you serve to become an excuse for shoddy service. Remember to include on that list those things you will do to care for the property of the one you serve. Will you exercise, get massages, take time for yourself? Whatever it is you do to renew your body and soul, put it on this list so you do not forget to care for the property while the owner is away. Discuss how you will remain in contact with the one you serve. During his last deployment, I wrote a letter a day to the owner. The letters served two purposes for me and for him. They were a physical reminder of him each and every day as I hand wrote these letters. The letters were also a way to stay connected to him. They were written as though I were talking to him. These letters allowed me to keep him informed of what was happening at home as well as allowing me to share my thoughts and feelings each day. I would write the letters at night before bed and mail them on my way to work in the mornings. The roll of stamps became an unofficial count-down to his return as well since I knew that when the roll was gone, he'd be home. If you are lucky enough to be able to talk with the one you serve during your separation, do so. Just don't become so focused on that contact that you are unable to function without it. Missing a phone call can be disappointing, but it should not be debilitating. Make arrangements to keep in contact with others who know of the separation and can help you through it. If the separation is due to military deployment, get in contact with others who are experiencing the same type of separation, be they vanilla or kinky. Talking with others who had loved ones deployed helped me immensely. Being able to share your thoughts, feelings, fears and emotions with others who have similar experiences will help make the separation more bearable. Of course, your individual preparations will vary as your relationship varies from mine. However, remaining connected and in service, no matter the details, will help you and the one you serve make it through the separation. Don't forget that the one you serve is suffering a separation too. Each service you provide gives him or her the opportunity to accept service and helps them to remain connected to you. Copyright © 2009 Shannon Reilly All Rights Reserved. No unauthorized reproduction of this work is permitted without express, written permission from the author.