Meet and Greet Day

Well, it's Saturday. The nail biting can begin.

It seems like every time I plan something, something comes up for EVERYONE else and no one shows up for what I planned. That has been the pattern for all the Meet and Greets so far.

JD won't be coming. His kids had plans for him. However, he did choose my clothing for me for this evening. I'm to wear my new, shiny blue dress (just picked it up last weekend and kind of thought he might like it) and no underwear *yikes*.

I made a new collar last night. I make a lot of them, even though I am not collared. I just sent JD an email asking if it would be okay if I wore it this evening. I always feel so unprotected at these events because he isn't with me. R is a very open and gregarious person...he chats with everyone, wanders off for more coffee and a cigarette, and leaves me alone with the new people...unprotected and unattached. If I wear a collar, even if I know i'm wearing it because I want to be safe rather than because I am collared to JD, I feel safer...people make their own assumptions and take a "hands off" approach then.

I know a lot of folks simply assume that I am collared to JD. I feel like I am, but he has this thing about collaring. He views it as a marriage in the lifestyle and he simply isn't ready or willing to do something like that. I am beginning to tell him how unanchored that makes me feel. Not that I am demanding a collar, but that I am uncomfortable in public lifestyle events without him or some symbol of him. The fact that he chose my clothing, hair style, and lingerie for this evening means a lot to me and I think (though I will ask because thinking and knowing are two different things) means he understands he has a bit more control and leeway than he might have previously thought.