Too Funny

How often do we delude ourselves into believing the hype we read in the BDSM erotica?

I got this from DsKiosk's Yahoo Group.

Subject: The Perfect Serve


raising her head as she hears her master's voice, her brown eyes lower
in respect, aware of her place as a slave, she rocks slightly , pressing
against her heels.... farts loudly, "ooooppss, excuse me Master", rises and
stands proudly, waving her slender hands behind her, trying to chase away
the offensive odor. a smile touching her sensous lips, hoping Master did not
notice.

crossing the room with light steps, she pads toward the servery, her
softly flowing day glow pink silks with red and black flame racing stripes
streaming silently behind her. stumping her big toe on a root, she grabs it
and hops in pain on one foot toward the servery, whispering inaudible
obscenities under her breath. Obnoxious sounds of tiny cow bells that bind
her ankles and wrists,and sounding like a herd of stampeeding cattle,
accompany her as she arrives in the servery. rubbing the pain away in her
toe, her brown eyes search and finds what she seeks - a beautiful gold
goblet, high upon the top shelf, befitting for her Master. she stretches as
she reaches for it. revealing beneath the transparent silks, her nakedness.
knowing his heated gaze is upon her ....her slender fingers reach for the
bowl. unable to grasp it, she clumisly crawls up on the counter, one knee
slipping off, she plummets to the floor with a resounding thud crawling back
up on the counter, finally reaching and grasping for the intended golden
goblet, she knocks off all the other delicate glasses on the shelf, sending
them crashing to the floor, shattering into a million pieces. suddenly
losing her grasp on her Master's precious goblet, it too slips from her
clumsy hands and goes spiralling to the floor, joining the others. She
shrugs, reaches up again and way at the back of the shelf, groping blindly,
her slender fingers find ....a paper cup.

satisfied that she has found the perfect ...errrmm paper cup...she sets it
carefully on the serving tray along side a pot of hot steaming coffee... she
glides fluidly ermm ok, she limps with a choppy gait, her hips swaying not
so seductively, her heart beating rapidly, her body quivering (from the
pain in her toe) in anticipation as she approaches her Master.

crossing her not so delicate ankles ,(actually they are quite large), she
kneels before her Master, head held high, back arched as her really huge
heart shaped bottom rests against her heels, causing her to moan in pain
from her injured toe. her not so firm breasts in a silent salute kinda just
hang there, aching for his touch, her chin lifts proudly, displaying the
spiked dog collar around her delicate neck.

setting the tray between her shapely spread (well, ok unusually thick)
thighs, pours him a steamy hot coffee. grasping the paper cup firmly,
pulling it to her body, a soft smile of pleasure dances along her lips, as
she carefully and slowly moves it along the curves of her body. feeling the
heat from it, she moans in pleasure and pauses for several beats over her
heart to show her devotion, but spashes some of the hot liquid out onto her
breast, burning her nipple.

causing her to react from the burning sensation on her skin, she
propels the cup of hot steaming coffee onto her Masters lap, scalding his
manhood profusely. quickly rising she tries to wipe the coffee off his
scalded lap with her silks sending him into a series of shrieking screams
of pain.

reacting from the pain, he kicks his feet, tipping his chair over, sending
himself sprawling backwards, his head hitting the floor, knocking him out
cold. biting her lip, she looks neverously, down at him, shrugs... and skips
away, waiting for him ro regain consciousness so she can show him how much
she loves him....all over again.