Fears

The speed with which the relationship is progressing scares me a bit. It isn't that I don't want it to move forward, but I am gunshy and worried that without soe time to know each other we will find ourselves to be incompatible after I've begun to care for you.

I'm afraid to surrender completely because I don't know you yet. A part of me is still waiting for the ugly word or comment designed to strip my self-esteem and leave me vulnerable to manipulation. This isn't a comment on what I believe of you, merely a fear I carry from hard experience.

I'm afraid that my nature, which is to care for and about the people in my life, will scare you away.

I'm afraid that I will disappoint you. Perhaps you have a skewed vision of who I am and the truth will not be to your liking.

I have all of the fears I normally have when it comes to the beginning of a relationship...am I really going to be a part of your life or am I going to be a toy--forgotten when it isn't time to play? Will you find my idiosyncacies too much to deal with and walk away without another word?

I'm insecure because so many times I've trusted someone only to be hurt. The last man with whom I was talking and forming a relationship (I thought) told me he couldn't decide between a relationship with me or getting a used corvette. My last Dom treated me like a Wednesday afternoon fling, a toy to pack into his bag and use when he felt like it.

I may need some reassurances sometimes. Sometimes all I need is to hear the words, "Everything is okay and I'm still happy with you as a part of my life." I'll be sure to let you know when those times come.
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shareinnc (66.57.220.217)
Aug. 19th, 2002 04:47 pm (local)

response
Know that I will not be like the rest. I have an understanding of who you are and like I told you...the core of you is good....the rest will be molded to serve me. You will be my sub and I will treat you as we have discussed. There will be no forgetting you exist.........although alone time for me is not abandonment. So far you have impressed me extremely. Your ability and desire to please and serve is very impressive. If you think we are maybe moving to fast then you need to approach me with it. As I have yet to give you a name, I will just call you sub until we decide on one for you. Sub, I am your Master, your Lover, your Friend. Above all else your friend. When you offered yourself as my Sub and I accepted, I agreed to look after you and make sure you were safe. I would put my own life in the way to protect you. As you have seen already in my response to situation you were uncomfortable with that you asked my input on. That being said......KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!!! Master
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shareinnc (67.251.119.119)
Aug. 20th, 2002 04:33 am (local)
Re: response
Well, I think we've covered most of this one elsewhere.

I absolutely understand the need for time alone. I am the same way. It is the weeks of no contact that I cannot handle. Again, these fears are MINE, not necessarily anything I think you would do.