Sunday Morning

Well, let's start with the good news. I enjoyed the party last night. It was wonderful to see people I hadn't seen in months and meet a couple of folks I had only ever known as screen names online. S and P seemed to enjoy themselves and we (R and I) won two of the party games. He won the "pop the balloon with the single tail" and together we tied for first with another couple in the trivia contest. Never knew my brain was so full of useless crap :).

Now for the news that had me curled up against a wall, crying in a guest bedroom for about 15 minutes last night.

I was talking with M (hostess) and G (a woman I had previously not liked because there was a time when it appeared she was trying to come between me and JD). I now have absolute confirmation that not a single thing JD ever told me was the truth. He's NOT divorced. There is NO girlfriend to have tried to commit suicide. He never stopped spending time with G. Every word that ever came out of his mouth was a lie.

I don't even know where to begin to express the pain and anger I'm feeling right now. I want to scream and cry and throw things. I want to get him alone in a room and tear his eyes out. I want him to hurt as much as I hurt. I can't believe I was so gullible, that I trusted this man and believed him...took him at his word. At least now I know that no one in Fayetteville will be hurt that way again. C and M and G and Wolf will see to it that no unsuspecting submissive woman will fall into his trap again.

I think I'm going to draft an email and dump out all the horrible things I want to say to him and try to get past the pain. I don't know if I'll send it, but I know if I keep this bottled up, it will only do me more harm.