Thursday Morning

Sep. 5th, 2002 at 8:36 AM

I'm doing far better today. My brain feels a lot more balanced and I'm caught up on a lot of my work and with the munch cancelled on saturday, i'll be able to get completely caught up.

I know there were things I wanted to talk about but right now I can't think of them. I'll have some time later today to sit down with my palm and type up whatever comes to mind.
Groups:Griffin, family, Victoria
Leave a commentEdit EntryEdit TagsAdd to MemoriesTrack ThisLink
Sep. 5th, 2002

9:56 PM

What was I saying about feeling better? I got to Lumberton to have a document notarized and when I went out to my car to leave, the damned thing wouldn't shift out of park again. I called R at 4 and he said they were still working on it. At this point, we don't even have enough money in our checking account to cover the labor charges. I guess I'll have to call my mother and ask if I can borrow some money until the end of the month when I get paid. I hate doing that It makes me feel like a failure. Like I can't make it on my own as an adult.

And, although I don't know the details yet, April showed up on our doorstep right about the time I called R to tell him about the car. The more I think about her propensity toward inappropriate behavior, the more I wonder why we put up with her for as long as we did. You don't just show up at someone's home. If you want to talk to them, call, send an email, whatever. Don't drive and hour down and back to their home with no warning whatsoever.

I wanted so much to write about happier things today. I wanted to tell you I was feeling better and getting caught up on work. I wanted to tell you that I'd love to see you this weekend, but tomorrow is really the only day our schedules would be compatible and now I'm sure it'll be taken up with the damned car. Of course, we probably won't be going to Asheboro now...no money for gas. I just want to sit down somewhere and bang my head against a wall. It seems to be the most productive thing I could possibly do right now.

I talked to R. The tracker is home but not entirely fixed. I do have an option...I may be able to take it to the FTCC automotive classes to have it fixed and it wouldn't cost us the $200-1500 the dealership wants. In the meantime, I need to see about getting another sticker for the car so I don't have to get searched every time I drive onto base in the Aspire. The only good thing was that R didn't have to pay the dealership any more money.

Did I ever tell you how much I love the taste of you? Your mouth always tastes so wonderful. The rest of you ain't half bad either :P.

My mind is working in about thirty directions right now. I'm sorry to dump all this on you like this, but if I don't get it out, it'll fester and get worse. I'll feel better soon. I always do.

I hope I'll be able to see you at some point this weekend. I'm guessing you have off tomorrow and work Saturday morning to Sunday morning. I know you want to visit your family too.

At some time I'm going to get up the nerve to talk to you and ask you about your deployment status...To be frank it scares the hell out of me. You asked me the other night how I felt about you...I told you the truth. I care about what happens to you. I've let you into my life and you're now on the "Worry About" list :). There are issues that "non-traditional" relationships have when it comes to difficult times...I don't want to talk about this right now...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up if I wasn't ready to talk about it.

We need to talk about what you want from me as far as the shapeshifting ideas go. I can point you toward some information and I can write a guided meditation for you if you like, but I don't know what else you want or need. I would strongly suggest that you look into some shammanism texts (you know i'm happy to loan you any that I have). I know you don't have a lot of time for reading (unless they'll let you read on CQ. If that is the case, I can cover the books or loan you my cloth book covers so that only truly nosey people will know what you are reading.

You know, I'd like to meet Bob and Sandy (wasn't that his wife's name?). Bob is on the Sandhills list as hotdragoninnc@yahoo.com. I thought I remembered that id from Sunny and Paula's Fayetteville Swinger's list. Perhaps Sandy and I might work together on the shapeshifter stuff for you.

I think I've rambled enough for one day. This post has no continuity. I guess I'll quit for now. I miss you and hope to hear from you. Pat Brandon for me.
Leave a commentEdit EntryEdit TagsAdd to MemoriesTrack ThisLink