I'm up late again, unble to sleep. I'm worried about how strongly Louis's question affected me this afternoon.
The sharp stab of jealousy was brief. The immediate rise of pain was more troublesome. Why should the thought of JD taking another sub, for whatever reason, cause me such pain? He's not my husband. We've barely had a moment to discuss what it means to him that he is "my Dom," so i can't even really claim that he is.
In fact, there is nothing that ties us together other than two brief encounters.
I think i'm feeling ungrounded right now. It seems as though i am reaching for something that I shouldn't need and even if i did need it, it isn't there.
I'm probably way too tired to be writing this now. I don't think i'm making much sense. I think what i really need is to talk to JD about limits, boundaries, expectations and lines in the sand. Perhaps then I will be able to grasp the earth again, rather than floating about, wondering where the other end of my tether is.