I am asking myself if i am being selfish by hoping to speak with or hear via email from MasterJD. I keep telling myself that of course his family must come first and that I understand how busy he is right now, but that does not dim my disappointment when I don't hear anything at all from him in response to messages i've sent.
Then i begin to think that perhaps i should simply fade into the woodwork again. Quietly move back into the shadows, stop sending email to him or the list, stop working on the website, just disappear. Make it easier for him to deal with the important things in his life by eliminating a simple, secondary one.
Then i do talk to him and he sounds pleased to talk to me and assures me that i'm not being a pain in the ass and i feel good until i think about it again.
I know that i would enjoy exploring the D/s relationship with him. I also know that if we never scened again, i would like to remain his friend. I like this man, what he has shared of himself with me, and i'm not so rich with friends in this life that i could not use another.
As i've said before, i hate this part of a new relationship. The uncertainty makes me crazy. I feel like if i don't hear from him, it's because i'm bothering him (intellectually i know this isn't necessarily the case). If i contact him, i feel like i'm bothering him. I guess i just feel like a bother because i don't think i'm of enough import to make any noise or affect in his life right now.