Oct. 20th, 2002

• 12:19 PM

I had another disconcerting talk with R in the car last night. I don't even know if I want to tell you about it because it brings up things that I'm somewhat afraid to broach with you.

Basically it boils down to him "accusing" me of being "totally in love" with you. I told him I wasn't, but I don't think he believes me.

As for whether or not it is the truth (his view or mine), I honestly can't say. It's something I try very hard not to think about. You are very important to me. I care about and for you. I don't think I have the "right" to fall in love with you for both our sakes. Please tell me if I'm mistaken in this thinking. I feel so odd writing this...I try not to think about this at all and yet R keeps bringing things like this up.