Things I will not do or be again...

I think about what I want from my life fairly often. Those thoughts almost always lead me to those things I do NOT want for myself ever again. Here is a brief list (subject to change at any time).

1. I will not be a secret. If you want me in your life, you must be willing to share me and my position in your life with the rest of the people in your life. I don't expect you to tell your child I serve you, but your child should know I'm more than just your friend (if they are of an appropriate age to know such things). Same goes for friends, family and colleagues. If you can't say I'm important to you to those around you, I'm not and I refuse to be in that position again.
2. I will not be an afterthought. I don't have to be number one on your priority list, but I refuse to be last.
3. I will not be a "back-up plan" in case the relationship you pursued first doesn't work out. If you don't want me to be part of your life simply for what I am, and aren't willing to give me what I need in a relationship, then I don't want you in mine.
4. I will not be the workhorse while everyone else in your life gets to have fun. This is NOT a new refusal of position, but one that seems to be resurfacing. I don't want to do all the work in the relationship, especially a poly relationship, and be stuck working my ass off while everyone else in the relationship gets to play and relax. If you want my help on a project, say so, but don't expect to drop the whole thing on me when there are others, yourself included, who need to contribute.
5. I will not be celibate while you fuck anything that moves. Been there, done that, burned the t-shirt in a raging ritual by the light of the new moon.
1. Addendum: I do not want a relationship devoid of sexual and non-sexual contact. If you don't want to touch me, be touched by me, or give two shits about the needs I have, fuck off.
2. I do not have casual sex and I will not be flattered if you choose to have sex with others in such a way that I have no choice but to interpret your actions as being unable to wait for the whole package since the urge to get your dick wet is much stronger than any desire you might have for a relationship with me.
6. I will not settle. I know what I want. I want a service relationship that also meets my emotional needs. I have spent time to clearly articulate those needs and I expect the one I serve to read what I've written as we negotiate and be HONEST if they are unwilling to meet those needs.
7. I will not be an "also ran," while you pursue someone else. If you don't want me for me, don't trail me along while you're waiting to see if the one you actually want decides if they are willing to give you what I have freely offered. 
1. As a part of this one, I will not be part of your harem...the lady in waiting while you fuck the one you want while waiting to see if that person is willing to fulfill all parts of what you want from them or are only willing to be a piece of ass.
8. I will not serve only in pieces. Either you want me, the whole package, or you don't. I am not a Chinese Combination Platter. You don't get to choose one from column A and two from column B. 

I realize this sounds bitter, but it is a truthful statement of the situations I have found myself in during past relationships and of what I refuse to ever deal with again.