Decision-Making in a Poly Group

I really like this particular approach to decision-making in a poly group.

1. How does this affect the people I'm involved with?
2. How does this affect my larger world?
3. How does this affect me?

I've been involved in several poly groups over the years and had we all approached important, and even the not-so-important, decisions with these guidelines in mind, we might all have had a little less strife.

1. How does this affect the people I'm involved with?
This is, I believe, the key question in this list. It is important to have considered how your decision will affect those with whom you are involved. It is the unwillingness, or inability to consider the affect of your decisions on all involved that leads to strife and pain in poly groups.

When you add in a power exchange element, this question can be muddied a bit, but I believe it must still be considered. If a member of the group is making a decision that will affect the group as a whole, there will be consequences. If the group is willing to deal with those consequences, that's fine, but when no consideration is given for the rest of the group, often the entire group will suffer more than is necessary.

2. How does this affect my larger world?
I think this question asks us to consider the importance of the decision. If the decision has little effect on the larger world, will you be as determined to have your own way?

3. How does this affect me?
This is an important and valid question to ask yourself before you make a decision. If the outcome of the decision doesn't affect you, let someone else make the decision, or offer your opinion with a clear indication of your knowledge that as the decision will not affect you, you are offering an opinion, not an edict.

I can really only speak for myself when I consider these questions. I know that my first concern will often be how a decision, action, or inaction will affect those around me. I try to ensure that I am not imposing my way of doing everything on those around me and I often step back to give room for others to step forward. There are times when my desires may not be met because of this, but if there are true needs, I speak up. It what I am missing is only a desire, I may have a moment of pique until I recognize that I was the one who made the decision which took away what I wanted.