The weekend at SELF was absolutely fantastic. The event itself is kind of a blur, but my emotional response to the weekend as a whole is not.

I was GREAT! I was funny. I was personable. I was approachable. I was THERE. There was no hiding, no making myself invisible or stepping out of the way for folks and so there was no time when I disconnected from J and therefore I was comfortable and safe.

This is huge for me. The absolute refusal to step aside (despite at least one somewhat pushy person who would have loved for me to behave in the manner I did when I last saw them) made the entire difference between the emotional wreck I was after Phoenix and how I feel this morning.

J helped so much. I know he was feeling pulled in so many directions all weekend and yet there were enough times when I looked across a room and saw him to find him seeking me too that I didn't for one second feel disconnected.

Lady V is fantabulous! I knew that before this weekend, but being able to spend the kind of time with her that we did this weekend cemented that particular opinion and chased off any last demons attached to the fear that has been fading in me since the week after Labor Day.

Fear of the unknown can always wreck my emotional state. There isn't an unknown anymore. Lady V is a wonderful and caring woman I would be proud to call family. When Miss V toasted to blended families a little voice in me said, "Yep. I can be happy with that for sure."

I met so many great people this weekend. Master C won the contest and we got to help (and scream ourselves hoarse from the audience when he and J and Lady V were all on stage...so HOT). Master C's family is wonderful and I hope we get to see them again at Ms. World.

In all, being somewhat of a social butterfly, probably for the first time in my life, was really a lot of fun. I met people. I made them laugh. Although I still had people ask me if I was "ok." I have no idea why...for heaven's sake, there was an enormous smile on my face 99% of the weekend. The other 1%, I was sleeping LOL.

I'll write more when we get home. Just wanted to say how fabulous the weekend was.