Leather Views July 7, 2002

Jul. 12th, 2002 at 9:00 AM

This column can be had by getting a subscription to:
LeatherViews
The free weekly column of serious leather sex information and advice.
Feel free to pass this on to a friend, or better yet, ask them to
subscribe. To get your own FREE subscription go to
.

If this column was forwarded to you, please come to our website and
subscribe...

for Issue number 29
Sunday, July 07, 2002

Doing As I Write
by Jack Rinella

As my regular readers probably know, I put a lot of confidence in the
technique of journaling. Regularly writing about one's thoughts, hopes,
and fears helps to clarify them and gives us a tool with which to find
self-understanding as well as solutions and improvements for our daily
lives. Since I'm in a week where my list of possible topics is at a low
ebb, I'm going to take my own advice and do some writing about my current
fantasy.

Before I do, though, I want to emphasize that I'm always open to
suggestions for topics and encourage you to drop me a note as to what you
want to read. The deal is this: if you tell me what you want you'd like to
read about, I'll try and be accommodating. If you don't you'll be stuck
reading (like this week) whatever hits my fancy.

A few weeks ago (on a Tuesday to be exact) Patrick noticed I was somewhat
depressed and quizzed me gently as to why. I admitted that I didn't know.
The down feeling lasted through Wednesday but by dinner time I as able to
admit that I wanted a lover and felt unfulfilled without one.

I shared my feelings about the possibility of creating a new relationship
and Patrick encouraged me to start looking. Perhaps not so coincidentally,
James, my therapist, gave me the same advice. Rather than wait to be
"healed" from the effects of my last breakup (two years ago), he noted
that a new relationship could in fact be part of the healing process.

I had never thought of it that way and he made a lot of sense. Besides, I
could look at my past relationships more clearly now and note what worked
and what didn't, what kind of person I wanted this time, as opposed to the
last several times.

Now many of you will be thinking that I should be happy with my slave
Patrick. I am. You'd say I should love Patrick and I do. The structure of
our relationship, which is very satisfying to both of us, is not one we
want to change. Master and slave we want to remain. In fact, Patrick has
made it clear he doesn't want to become my lover. Hence I find myself
wishing for a lover.

"Careful what you wish for, Jack," I think as I pick up a pen and paper
and try to visualize what that person looks like, acts like, and feels
like. I also wonder how I will act and how I will feel. Getting from here
to there involves change, though what that means only the future will
tell.

My first thought is that my next lover will be a versatile top, perhaps
even another master. I write that because I want a relationship with a
person who enjoys what I enjoy, even possibly everything that I enjoy. If
fact, I want to be able to watch him do what I do and I want us to do it
together.

I've never been in that kind of relationship, though I was close to one
like it when, as Master Lynn's slave, we co-topped a bottom. Not quite the
same but enough that it holds some potential for becoming real. That first
wish, I hope, ensures that we'll be without jealousy and competition,
secure in ourselves and each glad that the other has everything he
desires.

I also say that because I know too well that no one individual can satisfy
another's desires fully. That's why I tend to have multiple relationships.
(Now there's an understatement.)Together all of us provide for each other,
from each according to his abilities to each according to their needs. I
guess that makes it obvious that monogamous men need not apply.

It seems that I am firmly entrenched in my desire to have another man as
my lover. It's a matter of knowing myself. After all, it is my fantasy.

The whole lover idea involves a special kind of sharing. I can smile to
think that means that I fuck one end of a slave while he fucks the other,
but there is much more to it than that. Lovers, you see, are special to
each other in the way they share. At least that's how my fantasy goes.
Their relationship means that there's nothing that can't be said, heard,
felt, and tried within the bond of love that makes their relationship
special.

My dictionary comes in handy here, as I think I'm looking for a peer: "a
person who has equal standing with another, as in rank, class, or age." My
visualization projects that they are responsible, educated, handsome,
confident, generous, out-going, vivacious, and experienced in kink, in
leadership, and in sex. I visualize someone who is free to be themselves,
allows others the same freedom, and has a quiet streak of deeply spiritual
values.

I want to roll around with him in bed, flipping and exchanging roles. I
want to kiss and be kissed and never have to think about image,
appearance, or who's on top and who's on the bottom. I want a man who will
love both of me. Love me when I'm Jack and love me when I'm Joe. He'll be
as comfortable at all sorts of kinky events as he is when he comes to the
school where I teach.

I want to be able to cry on his shoulder and he on mine; to be with one
another through sickness and health, good times and not so good, reverie
and depression; to cruise and flirt and never worry about losing each
other in the crowd.

Oh there's lots of fantasy stuff to add to the mix as well. His smooth
well-muscled body will make me proud to be seen with him. His wit will
match me pun for pun. We'll never worry about whether we appear to be
political correct, are without a date, or whether the other is being
faithful.

It will be a great pleasure to share a quiet dinner, a large dungeon
party, a walk by the lake, or my "seventeen" slaves. He will be a helpmate
in building our family because he likes living in Grand Central Station as
much as I do, even while we plot to run off into the sunset for a time
just for us.

It's fantasy to be sure, but you've got to start somewhere. Patrick
reminds me that I'm not doing much looking and adds that maybe it's time I
start.

Have a great week. You can leave me email at mrjackr@leathermail.com or
visit my website at "". Copyright 2002 by Jack
Rinella, all rights reserved.

* * * * * *

Why not join me at an event some time soon?

July 26-28 Whipstock in Michigan for info: Whipstock2002@aol.com

Aug 9-11 Ms World Leather, Dallas, TX

Aug 19 A presentation on the History of Kink for APEX in Arizona


Aug 23-25 Ohio Leatherfest in Columbus