Things

I sent Ron (the other Dominant I wrote about yesterday) an email explaining that I was no longer looking for a dominant and cancelling our tentative lunch plans for tomorrow. Dumb me, I forgot we have people coming tomorrow anyway.

I also changed all of my profiles...bondage.com, alt.com, and the three yahoo profiles (chiki_nc, sublookinginnc, shareinnc).

I just talked to Suncom and I can get the text messaging (the ability to send...I can already receive) for $5.00 per month. If you'd like me to do that, I will be happy to. Only reason I haven't done it already is that no one I know has text phones.

I ordered some gorgeous blue leather today. It should be here by Monday and I'll make the collar. I also ordered some more of the silver locks I've had before...sold the two I originally bought.

On the topic of what to wear on Saturday...would you prefer I wear an opaque or translucent top under my lace jacket? The translucent top is lace as well, but with the jacket over it, you can't see much more than a shadow here or there. The opaque...well I'd wear a red camisole under the lace jacket.

I also have a rigid silver dress collar if you'd like me to wear a collar that night. Or I could wear one of the blue satin ones from my site. I want to dress for you so you are pleased with my appearance. The collar would simply make me feel a little more connected with you that night. I dislike attending lifestyle functions without a Dominant. And it appears as though Mikelos will be there, so I'll be hiding in a corner most of the night anyway... Have I mentioned I'm terribly shy in public venues?

Something I did for my last Dom because he never attended lifestyle events with me, was to have R take a picture of me before we left and email it him. That way he'd see that I was dressed appropriately, etc. If you'd like me to do this for you, please let me know.

I think that was all the stuff running through my head this morning. I'm sure I will sit down and write something else later. My brain never seems to stop thinking. Hope you are doing well.

Hesitation

This is something I was thinking about yesterday. It's flitted in and out of my thoughts a couple of times now, so I figured I had better write it down.

You'll notice at times that I hesitate to perform what you feel are "standing rules" like the kneeling in the slave position at my arrival. This isn't because I'm wanting to disobey you. It is because I do not want to presume that you have asked me to visit you with anything in mind. I don't know how best to explain this...

My last Dom asked that I strip when I arrived at his home. I always waited for confirmation from him that he wanted me to do this because it felt to me like I was being presumptuous if I did it without his express direction. It wasn't disobedience, it was insecurity.

I bet this doesn't make the slightest bit of sense darn it.

Reasonable Rules

This is somewhat difficult for me to answer because I have never had "rules" before and so I don't really know what is or is not reasonable.
Well, this is what I thought of. Please let me know if this is what you had in mind.

Behavioral rules like where to sit/stand when we are together (I know you mentioned this several times, I think it's perfectly reasonable).
Definition and delineation of appropriate actions and speech for particular situations.
Phone calls and check-ins.
This journal.
Clothing and jewelry choices.

I'm sure I'll add to this list...this is all my tired brain can come up with this evening.
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shareinnc (66.57.220.217)
Aug. 19th, 2002 05:09 pm (local)

response
You know where you are to sit and stand.
You will always mind the manner and tone when you talk to me. When asked a question,, I am called Sir but it does not have to be Sir every other word.
Before you get in bed you will ask permission to enter, unless I tell you just to get in, and permission to leave. You will always be touching me at all times when at my side. Even if just to keep your hand on my ankle or wrist.
I will always have a fresh glass of ice water unless I specify differently. It will never be empty and it will never get old. Replace it if this occurs.
Check ins are not required yet...Only if I deam that they become neccisary
If I have told you to do something through out the day I may and will check. DO NOT DISSAPPOINT ME.
Journal....enough said.
These are just a few that I have answered. I will talk to you and dictate the rest to you. My Thoughts to you....Master


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shareinnc (67.251.119.119)
Aug. 20th, 2002 04:41 am (local)
Re: response
I'm fine with all of these. Perhaps I am misunderstanding your question... I thought I was to list those things which I found reasonable...You know, the blonde IS natural and sometimes it affects the brain :).

Thank you for the touching requirement...I find myself so much more comfortable when I am in physical contact with someone. And I'm a touchy person with people I like :).

You'll have to show me where things are in your home. The repair man is on his way now to fix our ice maker :).

I can't think of anything else and yet I get the feeling you are expecting something more from me on this one...it must be the hair...

Looking into your master's eyes

This topic came up on a list I am on (DsKiosk).

Funny that this topic should come up. Now, I have not been in the lifestyle all that long...only about 18 or 19 months...and I've been involved with two Dominants. The first was very lax. He didn't discipline me, didn't give me very many rules beyond what I was to call him etc.
Sir, on the other hand, is rather strict. Or at least he has been with his submissives in the past. He scared the beejeezus out of me in our first scene (for which my husband was present) because I moved without asking and he reprimanded me.
It was only later that he told me I was the only submissive he had ever allowed to look him in the eyes during a scene. I did it because I am an eye person...I want to see the expression in your eyes to know what you are thinking and feeling. It never occurred to me that I shouldn't look him in the eyes. (They are a wonderful deep blue, btw :) ).
Now that I know it is a privilege he grants to me, I am more conscious of when I do it. The fact that he can close my eyes (just run his hand over them) and I will keep them that way no matter what comes next, I think has a lot to do with his continued permission to look into his.
The only time I have ever had trouble with this and Sir was the one time I seriously disappointed him. His comment, "Don't you turn those doe eyes on me," was part of the worst punishment he could ever have come up with...letting me know how disappointed he was.
Eyes are such wonderful windows. I can understand how being in this lifestyle would teach someone not to look into someone's eyes, but without those windows, a great deal of my empathic link with people would be broken.